[ale] OT: Sysad resignation letter.

[Van Loggins]

ROFLMAO this gal obviously went to the BOFH school for system admins.

too too funny. :)

On Tue, 21 Sep 2004 00:31:55 -0400, Brian Stanaland
<brian.stanaland at gmail.com> wrote:
> This has probably made the rounds but I hadn't seen it before.
> 
> Dear Mr. Smith,
> 
> As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very
> basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have
> an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your
> consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and me during the
> commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the
> few true genetic wastes of our time.
> 
> Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of
> everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not
> only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired
> because I know how to network computer systems, and you were
> apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees,
> who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and
> paste" for the hundredth time.
> 
> You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as
> binary still gives you too many options. You will also never
> understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it
> to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as
> telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality
> than you ever will.
> 
> You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in
> others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have
> worked for your interview, but now that you actually have
> responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their
> talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of
> managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else
> eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert
> principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without you
> getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my
> resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.
> 
> 1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal
> for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt
> me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you
> over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you
> would be unable to do it on your own.
> 
> 2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know
> every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to
> get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I
> conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do
> believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by
> the administration.
> 
> 3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your
> Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to
> take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase
> them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have
> never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that
> those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring
> of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check
> please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)
> 
> Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on
> my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of
> your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public.
> Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know
> what you do with all that free time!
> 
> Wishing you a grand and glorious day,
> 
> Cecelia
> 
> --
> 
> "Anyone who has the power
> to make you believe absurdities
> has the power to make you
> commit atrocities."
> 
> -- Voltaire
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> Ale at ale.org
> http://www.ale.org/mailman/listinfo/ale
> 



-- 
Van Loggins
"Linux Geek In Training"
vanloggins at gmail.com


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